Chris Mitchell Music

Why I'm a fan of Cobra


I read this quote from Mr. Rogers and I immediately thought…That's the truth.

I managed to negotiate a peace treaty between GIJoe and Cobra when I was 12. It was a lengthy treaty that involved Cobra canceling their System Neutralizer Armed “Kloaking” Equipment (S.N.A.K.E.) program and GIJoe would agree to remove the USS FLAGG from the Baltic Sea, offering more power to their alliance with Finland and a troop regiment along the continental shelf boundary with Sweden.

It was my first attempt at international negotiations.

Cobra was operating out of a temporary base in St. Petersburg. As distrust began to build between Cobra and GIJoes, Cobra managed to employ the former Autobot, Blaster, as a mercenary to help find the location of the Flagg’s planned maneuvers. Blaster had undergone severe depression after the death of Optimus Prime in August of that year and refused to follow the Autobots under the leadership of Rodimus. He felt like Ultra Magnus was the rightful future leader of the Autobots so he left them with the understanding that he would now only fight for what he “believed in”.

Blaster acted as covert operations for Cobra during the Fall of 1986 and on Wednesday, October 15th 1986, he reported that GI Joe had plans to run “test” maneuvers in an unauthorized area in the Baltic Sea.

GI Joe eventually sent their aircraft carrier back in to Russian waters (violating the treaty). Knowing that GI Joe maintained naval superiority, (and since Cobra was without their stealth S.N.A.K.E. program), they chose to attack at night with A-10 Rattlers, and a small brigade of F.A.N.G. helicopters led by Wild Weasel. The successful raid took out the remaining F-14s from the deck of the Flagg. Surprisingly, no Cobras were injured during the attack. The same cannot be said for GI Joe. Bazooka died in battle because he had a really stupid uniform. His red football jersey was easy to spot against the grey surface of the aircraft carrier (even at night). Quick Kick also died in the battle. Quick Kick’s blatant disregard of footwear led to an early demise as he slipped and fell off of the deck of the carrier. Rescue crews couldn’t retrieve the 3 and 3/4” body in such a vast sea.

It wasn’t my warmest welcome into international diplomacy.

I never trusted GI Joe again after that.


Reenactment of "Battle of the Baltic Sea" - Not actual Battle…
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